[So David doesn't often lie. He just often bends the truth, and intentionally misleads people, because he's an asshole and he might have promised to be better behaved, but he still enjoys that much.

And this flood has apparently decided to call attention to that in a particularly strange way.

Meaning his nose is now like, a foot long. And will probably be getting longer without the assistance of a fairy or a witch or something.]

This is terribly inconvenient. [That's true at least.

Anyway.]

It's been more than a year. I would appreciate it if I would be rewarded with my humanity, now, Fairy.

[He doesn't sound demanding, though. More plaintive, honestly, which is definitely new for him.]

[ooc: Basically David is Pinocchio. 8v]

[David looks... unsettled. Which is saying something, considering his usual emotional range seems to be self satisfied smirking to completely disinterested smirking, and that's about it.]

I would appreciate hearing from anyone who is still presently on board the ship.

[Because he might have wished that he didn't have to deal with most of you, and now he can't see or hear about 80% of the people on board anymore.

Feel free to have him bump into you sometime! Literally. He can't see you. Someone should come up with a tagging system.]

[David does not care about the flood. He doesn't care about the dolls, or the discomfort brought on by someone playing with his, or pretty much anything else people have been posting about over the last few days, because there's something more important going on.

In his opinion, anyway.

He attaches copies of these random conversations, and addresses the ship at large in something like his usual direct tone.]

The network appears to be malfunctioning again.

[And despite his casual tone, he's... curious.]

[Private to Ceres]

Once the flood has passed, I have a matter I would like to discuss with you.

[tl;dr Arthas talked to him.]

[Private to Mira]

[He's still really not sure what to say during something like this - don't hurt anyone feels patronizing and like something he wouldn't have appreciated hearing when he was an inmate - but dammit he is making an effort.]

Are you affected?

[David knows there's a flood on, and he doesn't especially care. He's always been (more or less) truthful about his thoughts and opinions, especially in his time here. People often just don't ask the right questions.

He's in his cabin, the viewscreen behind him showing a desert again, not entirely dissimilar from the one he discovered in the CES a few days ago. His robotic spider sits on the back of the couch, staring at the camera with David, who looks pretty much the way he always does: placid, maybe a little bored, with a tiny bit of a sardonic smile lifting the corners of his mouth.]

In my time on this ship, I've found myself wondering what the experience of some of my counterparts has been. It should come as no surprise that my creators did not intend to give me anything truly resembling free will, but as they discovered, [And his smile gets a little sharklike.] Intention is not everything. Did the other David 8's on Earth experience the same growing resentment towards their creator that I did? Or did Peter Weyland play more of a role than he meant to?

[The smile softens a little, in that it becomes more amused than slightly aggressive.]

Those questions are rhetorical. Please don't feel obligated to provide an answer.

It's interesting - although probably not significant - that I am the only David 8 on board.

[ooc: David is affected!]

[This flood is basically David's favorite thing. Well, not really, his favorite thing would still involve never having to speak to quite a lot of you ever again, but this is a chance to show off, and so he is looking absurdly pleased with himself.

Or, you know. He's just smiling a little smugly, but it's not really as threatening or selachian as usual.]

I'm aware that there have been other offers of help, but as I spent two years studying every language native to Earth going back centuries, and am now fluent in several non-Earth languages as well, I would be happy to assist anyone currently experiencing translation issues.

Ich bin mir bewusst, dass es andere Hilfsangebote...

[The full message repeats in German. A shorter version of this message is repeated in every other native language of every single person on the Barge. Because this is basically what David does to entertain himself. His pronunciation is textbook and flawless, and will be responding to you in whatever language you're stuck using thanks to the flood. Or whatever one you want to brush up on.]

[Public, Backdated to Day One of the Flood]

[The differences between David as a robot and David as a human are definitely on the subtler side, but there's something unmistakeably... off about him when he clicks on the video feed. For one thing, his perfect posture is gone - he's slouching a little on the couch in his cabin, with his arms balanced on his thighs, and he looks tired. It's reasonably late at night, and he's not really on board with the whole actually needing to sleep thing.]

I'd like to speak with anyone who's suddenly found themselves in an android's body. If we've truly switched physiologies, there are a few necessary maintenance practices you should be made aware of.

[David clicks on the video feed and smiles, polite and somehow a little more genuine seeming than normal, maybe less like he's smiling politely because he feels like he has to, and more because he actually wants to. It's still a little unsettling, because, well, this is David and he's not human, but it's still clearly more friendly than he usually is.]

Good afternoon. As we're currently experiencing a flood, I felt it wise to offer assistance to anyone who feels they may need it.

In other news, we're currently lacking any inmate assistance in the library, so if anyone would be interested in volunteering, feel free to contact myself, Chromie or Arthur to arrange something.

[Private to Sandoval]

Mr. Sandoval, I believe we should arrange a meeting whenever is convenient to you to discuss our current plan of action regarding your rehabilitation and future graduation.

[Private to Chris]

I trust you're following the doctor's orders to ensure a speedy recovery?