035 웃 VOICE

[secretasshole]

Mira Hidalgo is in a coma.

[David doesn't sound crushed, or sad, really. Pensive, maybe.

He is a little bummed, though. He knew he wouldn't be an especially good warden, but it has been slightly frustrating to realize how little he's able to actually accomplish here. He likes Mira, but he has been wondering if she might benefit from someone else.

Someone who actually understands what it's like to be human.]

I will continue to monitor her in the hopes she wakes up.

[It kind of sounds like he's not especially interested in adding anything else, but apparently he decides better of it.]

It is highly inadvisable to go wakeboarding off the back of the ship.

[JUST SAYING, Chris what are you.]

Comments

[routemistress]

...Oh no.

Are you putting 'er in the infirmary?

[secretasshole]

I thought she might be more comfortable in her room.

[routemistress]

Agreed.

Would you let me in now and again? I want 'er to wake up and know immediately she were missed. That she's loved and not forgotten.

[secretasshole]

That can be arranged.

[routemistress]

[She smiles, the luminously brilliant version of Iris' smile that happens when she really means it as opposed to just random friendliness or amusement.]

Thank you, David. I 'ave to admit it's at least partly for my own comfort, but I also reckon it'll matter to Mira.

[secretasshole]

[David doesn't smile back - which is probably for the best, considering his smile pretty much always looks false, or like he's going to take a bite out of you even when he's not - but he doesn't look irritated or angry, either.

Just kind of weird and pensive and flat.]

You're welcome.

[mistconduct]

...Okay, for the record? Wakeboarding does not cause comas.

[secretasshole]

I didn't mean to imply that they do.

[And technically, if you fell and hit your head hard enough on something solid while wakeboarding...

But he will be quiet about that for now.]

[mistconduct]

Why you gotta be a fun-ruiner, David?

[secretasshole]

Because I've been attempting to be a more responsible individual since graduation.

[Or maybe because he's still a shithead who likes ruining people's fun when he's in a bad mood.

Or maybe he doesn't want you getting stranded on some shitty planet for months after falling off the side.

Who the hell knows, really.]

[mistconduct]

Weren't you always like a million times more responsible than most dudes here?

[secretasshole]

One of the benefits of not being human.

[mistconduct]

Rub it in our squishy organic faces, why don't you.

[secretasshole]

It's one of the few pleasures I indulge in.

[mistconduct]

Just try not to smirk so much when you do it. Gives the game away.

[secretasshole]

But it's so difficult not to.

[mistconduct]

No. Stop, David. You're a warden now. Time to act your age.

[andyougoleft]

Inadvisable by whom?

[secretasshole]

Rationality.

[andyougoleft]

Rationality isn't sentient, it can't advise.

[secretasshole]

I am, and I do. And I'm very rational.

[andyougoleft]

You're also what's commonly known as a buzzkill.

[secretasshole]

And unfortunately, relatively difficult to offend.

[Which is not explicitly true, but you're not calling him an iPhone so at least he's not fantasizing about poisoning you.]

[andyougoleft]

Why unfortunately?

[secretasshole]

Because I don't especially care if I am a buzzkill or not.

[andyougoleft]

Well, the fortune of that depends on your point of view then, wouldn't you say?

[walkingmeltdown]

Oh, come on, you don't actually think you're going to talk D'amico out of anything, do you? Better minds have tried.

[Beat.]

Or, considering you're probably going to argue that point with me, an addendum: those with more patience for the stupidity and stubbornness of the human condition, have tried.

[secretasshole]

You're learning.

[walkingmeltdown]

It turns out I am still capable of it. It was somewhat news to me as well, admittedly.

[secretasshole]

Congratulations.

[walkingmeltdown]

Yes, I'm sure you're very happy for me.

[secretasshole]

I'm not unhappy for you.

[walkingmeltdown]

I would have presumed your baseline level was indifference, admittedly.

[secretasshole]

Generally, it is. In this case, I stand by my previous statement.

[walkingmeltdown]

And why is that?

[adelphoktonos]

[Damn, Mira too?]

Which number is her room? I would like to visit while she sleeps.

[secretasshole]

Level six, room eighteen.

You're a friend?

[adelphoktonos]

Yes. [No hesitation and there's an almost smug tinge to her tone as she adds:] We were sisters, when the ship was flooded.

[secretasshole]

I see.

I'm sure she would appreciate the company.

[adelphoktonos]

Then I will give it to her.

[...] Do you think she will wake soon?